Relationships can be complicated, but they don’t have to be.
There are many reasons why couples fall out. Starting a relationship with someone for the wrong reasons, like marrying only for money is a more common pitfall than we care to admit and it can begin the relationship on the wrong foot.
Then, there is losing yourself in the relationship and having no life outside of the relationship. Having hobbies and friendships you share with your other half is a sign of a healthy relationship and so is maintaining the close friendships you had before the marriage and your hobbies.
Intimacy is another factor that tends to change over time. Even though the frequency and the way it’s expressed may vary, stay cautious that intimacy does not disappear altogether. If one partner has intimacy problems, the other partner may start feeling that they’re no longer interested in them. Losing your ability to communicate effectively with your partner and resolve conflicts lays in the core of a lot of separations.
So, what can you do when you sense that your relationship has lost its zest? Don’t stick your head in the sand, acknowledge the problems in your relationship and start taking responsibility for your contribution to these problems. As the saying goes, it takes two to tango.
Are you finding it hard to forgive and still holding on to toxic grudges? Try the following. Get a piece of paper and make a large circle in the middle; this is where you are going to write your “grudge” then add 15 circles around your “grudge circle”. Fill in the 15 additional circles with a word or a phrase that captures something you appreciate about your partner. This can be a positive characteristic or memory.
The purpose is not to dismiss negative issues, instead, to expand the focus to help you pay attention to the positive aspects of your partner and of your relationship.
Start repairing your relationship early. The longer the negative emotions sink into your relationship, the longer it will take to improve it. Contact Dr Nick to find out how he can help you get your relationship back on track.